Hello guys, and welcome back to the latest installment of Pitiful Prose, the segment where I belittle and bemoan my younger self’s writings.
I wrote this little ditty back in…2013, I think? Phones and texting were really becoming this huge thing, and I was eager to try my hand at writing an IM chat log. (For…some reason that I don’t know…)
It’s quite cringey, it will possibly make you laugh, and I hope you enjoy! 🙂
_________________________________________________
MaddieGladdie* –Â R U coming 2 Mi house?
*This was back when I self-inserted myself into my stories. I changed her name to Madel, and gave her my nickname, so this was…really not that subtle.
JackinaBox* – I’ll be there @ 6. Kay?
*I actually kinda like this one for a username? It’s kinda cute. XD
MaddieGladdie – Sounds good. Is any1 else online?
JackinaBox – dont know.*
*Can I just say, it took a lot of willpower to make myself misspell words on purpose. So. Give me a round of applause.
MelMel – Hello??
MaddieGladdie – Mandy! u’re here!
MelMel – u’re here 2!
JackinaBox – any1 else?
MelMel – ummmmm….*
*Who writes an ‘um’ that long? Seriously? >_>
SmartCookie – Im here.
MaddieGladdie – hey Anna!*
*Why are you even bothering to use usernames if you’re just going to call each other by your names?
SmartCookie – hi. Sorry Im late.
MaddieGladdie – no big.
CoolKate – Hi!
MaddieGladdie – hey kate! Is Lia there with U?*
*…Why did you capitalize Lia…but not…Kate…?
CoolKate – just a sec, BRB*
*…where are you going?
JackinaBox – So… R U all coming 2 Mad’s house?*
*Nobody shortens Madeline, or even Maddie, to Mad. Literally nobody has ever done that to me.
MelMel – I am!
SmartCookie – me 2.
MaddieGladdie – Kate?
CoolKate – Im back! and Lia is logging in right now.
MaddieGladdie – kay!
XOLiaOX* – hey every1!
*Could I be more creative with these names? XD
MaddieGladdie – hey Lia! so is every1 here?
MelMel – yep.*
*Why are you taking the time to use punctuation, but still not capitalizing words and misspelling them?
MaddieGladdie – ok, great I need all of U @ mi house. can U make it?
CoolKate – Im free.
XOLiaOX – me 2!
MaddieGladdie – SO U’ll all come? CYA there!*
*I think my eyes are bleeding.
_________________________________________________*
*{Insert graceful cut here}
I log off and race to the door. as usual, Lia is here first. “hey Madel! Whats so Important?”
“I’ll wait till the other are here.” I say.*
*Ooh, who is the other? Are they the bad guy?? :O
Its just after dinner so everyone has to ‘wash up’ and clean themselves.*
*Wouldn’t you do that…before dinner? I’m so confused. -_-
There you go, my first chat log! I don’t think I’ve ever written one since then…probably because even I thought it was cheesy and…pretty much pointless, plot-wise. Like, what even is happening in this scene? This whole thing could’ve taken less than a paragraph if I cut out all the ridiculous filler. XD
Does this look like a realistic text exchange to you? Or like an automated robot trying to be hip wrote it? Let me know in the comments!
Short & Snappy 
I love hearing from you! ^_^