Pitiful Prose // Villain Mayhem


Hello guys! So, I’ve decided to make this a monthly thing (at least for a while), sharing with you my not-so-great early writing years. I hope I can make you laugh, or at the very least give you an idea ofย how NOT to write. XD

“Come with me Madsha. Can I call you Madi? Madsha is kind of a mouthful, don’t you think?”

I had never conversed with a villan, but I just nodded.

“Well? what do you think?” he pressed with an all Villany accent.

“Yes.” I replied curtly “very long.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, but then broke the silence with the jangle of his key to his lair.

Yes! Now that we were in, I was free to go whenever, But I want to see what he has planned.

“OK now, Madi, give me everything you’ve got.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, bag, tools, food perhaps? Cheese preferably?”

“Look, I don’t have any cheese if thats what your looking for.”


“I said, I don’t have any cheese!” I almost shouted. And with that I snapped the ropes and ran away.

But he didn’t try to chase me or anything. Whats going on? Something tells me this is all an act. And that Jackal is trying one of his newest schemes.

I walked Down the road. Well, I guess I might as well find a place to stay since I’m Obviously not leaving anytime soon. But even if I could leave I would have to stay and stop whatever Jackal was trying to pull off.

I kicked a rock and it went farther then I wanted it to. Up ahead, I saw an Inn. I hope they take coins.

“Hello, may I help you?” said the Innkeeper.

“Um, yes, I need a room for 5 days.” That should hopefully be enough.

“All right, lets see, any openings for 5 days….”

I glanced at the guestbook.

Jack Al – 5 days

This meant 2 things for me. I had to be watchful, and I had to watch out!

“Alright miss, that will be 20 dollars.”

Great. Now what? I need to watch Jackal. Whatsoever the matter. “Um, I don’t have that much, but maybe I can earn my keep? Maybe help around the Inn, work at the desk?”

“I think thats a great Idea. You can start in the Cellar. Its awfully messy down there.” And with that he shoved a mop and bucket of water in my hands and walked away.

I silently looked for the Cellar. I guessed it was an old, rust door, so I listened for creaks. None.

Wait, there it is! Finally.

Wow its cold, musty and dark in here, although, I feel a strange sense that someone was or Is in here.

Well, on to work. I could probably take on any monsters down here.

“Hello, Madi.”

I whirl around, mop in hand, and see who but Jackal showing off his latest invention.

“What are you doing here, and why does Dr. Nefarious know about me.”

“Because, I need him for my plan.”

At this point, I just…I couldn’t go on. It was too painful. XDย I hope you enjoyed this silly little snippet and I hope you have a wonderful May!



12 thoughts on “Pitiful Prose // Villain Mayhem

  1. “I knew two things: I had to be watchful, and I had to watch out.”
    Oh my goodness, Madeline, I am CRYING. This was so wonderful. I love this. I may have to do a post like this someday… but I doubt that’s a good idea. XD You would probably keel over dead.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, I was quite proud of that line at the time… XD
      I’m kinda crying too. XD I’m so glad you like it!! Ooh, yes, I would love to read a post like that! ๐Ÿ˜€ Well, I haven’t keeled over dead re-reading my own old writing, so I think I would be relatively safe. XD


  2. I’m so confused… who is Jackal??๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ “He said in a villainy ton.” The description is flawless. And the inn keeper is all like “sure I’ll have some werid girl with no parents and no money and Id to work at my desk.” Cause #Logic

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This was soooo hilarious and made me smile so many times! I used to write just like that (and honestly haven’t gotten much better over the years) so this is totally relatable!

    Liked by 1 person

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